This should be Very serious….but it is sooo sadly funny.
Fed up with the spin? Confused by the lies? You need ACM’s handy cut-out-n-keep glossary.
Here are a selection of Labor’s climate buzzwords and phrases translated into English for the rest of us:
- Carbon : Carbon Dioxide
- Pollution : Environmentally beneficial
- 500 biggest polluters : 500 most productive industries
- A carbon tax will help tackle climate change : I failed Kindergarten science!
- Green jobs: Unemployment
- There will be no carbon tax under the government I lead : Bob Brown leads the government
- Greens : Marxists
- Hottest decade on record : Hottest decade in the last 3 hundred-millionths of the planet’s lifespan
- Unprecedented : I have the memory of a goldfish!
- Wind power : An Oxymoron!
- The science is settled : Shut Up!
- The debate is over : Shut Up!
- Bob Brown : A Watermelon.
- Consensus : Don’t Mention The Science!
- Climate change is a moral issue : Don’t Mention The Science
- Green economy : The Stone Age
- We must invest in clean technologies : I own shares in the companies that manufacture them
- The Central Coast is most at risk from rising sea levels : Tanya Plibersek has lost her marbles
- China is taking action on climate : Greece is a paragon of economic integrity
- We must respect the science (© M Turnbull) : We must respect the science that fits our ideology
- 80% cuts in emissions by 2050 : The lunatics have taken over the asylum
- Deniers : the Government